Sunday, January 10, 2010

The Perfect Couple

I read an article in the Saturday papers that quoted Michelle Obama as saying, "marriage is hard but, going into it, no one ever tells you that. They just say, "do you love him?'"

It's so encouraging when fairytale couples expose themselves as human, isn't it? Particularly if you're having a rather 'human' time of it yourselves.

Have you ever had an argument in the car on the way to a party, then emerged at the venue - a perfectly united front of marital bliss? While you're sitting there at the party - disguised as someone who isn't internally fuming - others are watching you, thinking, 'wish we were as happy as they are.'

It’s Perfect Couple Syndrome, (closely linked to Perfect Parent Syndrome), and it can unnecessarily damage your self-esteem.

Start today

Find something small that you can do today to positively influence your relationship (even if things are going really well).

Rather than ask what's wrong with your relationship, or with your partner (or with your date, if you’re single) make it your goal to come up with at least one thing that you can do this week to be a better partner. It doesn't have to be a big deal. Just a small change that might spark off a chain reaction. It could be as simple as making sure you say 'hello' and 'goodbye' properly each day, or finding ten minutes to sit on the couch talking, or simply thanking your partner for something you’ve been taking for granted, or giving an overdue apology.

Whatever it is, make it a step in the right direction.

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