Do you ever feel like you come to work for a rest?

There are those days where getting out the front door in the morning is like a practical demonstration of Chaos Theory. The children are fractious and one of them appears to have joined the ‘Slow’ movement overnight, there are disagreements over who is having the first shower, you’ve run out of milk, the petrol tank is empty, nothing fits, you can’t drop the kids at the curb like you normally do because Harrison needs help carrying in his papier mache volcano, at which point you are waylaid by the president of the Parents & Citizens Committee about that rash promise you made to help organise the white elephant stall at the fete, which means you’re ten minutes later in the morning traffic, along with seemingly every other parent, so you have to park a mile away from work and power-walk to the office despite your unsuitable attire and shoes - heavy brief case weighing you down with the work you took home last night to make up for the hour and a half you spent at the regional cross-country carnival yesterday, only to collapse into your chair, turn on your computer and find your inbox over-flowing with changed deadlines, meeting invitations you don’t have time for and a plaintive email from your mother, asking if it’s too much trouble for you to give her a call this side of Christmas, ‘no pressure or anything’.

Arriving at work in an agitated state is bad for business and for your own wellbeing. You can’t be responsible for how the rest of your family behaves in the morning, but there are several simple things that you can do to flip this kind of situation around.

A relaxed morning starts the night before.

If you would prefer to arrive in the office on time, un-frazzled, clear-headed and having given yourself five or ten minutes to gather your thoughts before starting the working day, try making a few small changes to your morning routine, starting the night before. Give these changes a week and notice any differences to how you feel when you get to work.

• Check the petrol gauge and basic grocery supply to ensure you have enough for the next day.
• Make lunches.
• Decide what to wear tomorrow.
• Lay out school uniforms and pack school bags, ensuring notes are signed and homework is done
• Write a short list of no more than three of tomorrow’s top work priorities, just enough to have a plan in mind, then consciously switch off your thoughts about work. If you have brought work home, ask yourself why and make a note of the reasons (more on this in a future topic).
• Do any necessary housework before sitting down to relax.
• Make a note of anything that you are trying to remember, to avoid waking at night thinking of it.
• If you find yourself flicking through the channels and complaining that there is nothing on, turn off the TV.
• Limit consumption of alcohol, caffeine and late-night fluids to promote refreshing and uninterrupted sleep.
• Agree on who will have the first shower in the morning, and who will drop the children at school to avoid morning conflict.
• Depending on how much of a ‘morning person’ you are, choose between going to bed 15-30 minutes earlier than usual or setting the alarm for 15-30 minutes earlier the next morning.

Do these things as early as possible in the evening, to maximise your time to relax and wind down. Most people are surprised to find how little time it takes to accomplish the tasks on this list, and how much more relaxed the evening feels knowing these things are already done in preparation for a much easier morning.

In the morning:

• Sit down at the table and eat a good breakfast, rather than skipping breakfast or eating on the go. If you find you don’t have time for this, revise your ‘night before’ routine, or look at how you are managing your time.
• Avoid trying to cram in extra housework, unless you are a natural early-riser. Use the ‘timer delay’ function for washing, so you can ‘set and forget’.
• Consciously do at least one relaxing thing during your morning routine, whether this is going for a walk or meditation, reading the paper over a cup of coffee, paying attention to your pets or having a five-minute fully ‘present’ (focussed) conversation with a child (or all of these things, for those who rise early).

For those with children:

• Get yourself ready first.
• Enforce a ‘no TV/computers’ rule in the mornings, at least until children are fully breakfasted and ready for school. (This one change can make an enormous difference to their motivation levels for getting ready).
• Do a check that everyone has everything they need before getting half-way down the street, to avoid the stress of turning around for forgotten items.
• Watch how your own stress levels have an impact on your child’s behaviour. Promote a calm morning by being calm yourself. Avoid attention-seeking behaviour by giving some positive attention.

For a relaxed journey to work:

• Make a point of noticing traffic flow at different times in the morning. Experiment with peak periods and different routes, or work these into your time frame to avoid stress.
• At the start of the week, place enough change for the week’s parking in a hidden container in the car.
• Select music that will relax and uplift you to listen to on the way to work.
• Avoid listening to radio programs that are crammed with loud advertisements or talk-back on depressing subjects.
• Keep your car tidy and well-maintained.
• If the surroundings are conducive, consider parking 15 minutes from the office to give yourself 30 minutes of exercise each day. The walk there and back provides a good ‘buffer’ between work and home, to focus your thoughts on where you are headed next.
• If taking public transport, spoil yourself with a good book and good music, or 'zone out' with your thoughts.

Never underestimate the power of making some small changes. Rather than arriving at work frazzled, cranky and half-defeated by the day already, set yourself up to begin your working day in the best possible light.